Monday, October 28, 2019

Forty-Two

In my teens, I had this crazy notion that I would die at the age of thirty. Perhaps due to the influence of silly romantic books, Jesus Christ, Jose Rizal, and a lot of famous people who died young. I'm one of those people who are always hyper-aware of the limited time that we have in this planet. I think it helped me a lot to reach most of my life goals and future plans, and to appreciate and value the importance of TIME, to organize myself, to appreciate things. Although, I may not show it outwardly, since I've never been any good at showing emotions, inside, I'm super grateful.

Of course, I did not die at thirty. After thirty, it was difficult to plan my life as I did not really plan anything after that age. But I got married and had a daughter and life just kind of happened and so many things just unfolded, one after the next, not totally the opposite of what I would have planned, had I planned my life after thirty. And of course, you guessed it right. After 30, I thought I would die at forty.

Of course, two years after forty, I am still here, alive and kicking and even sitting here, enjoying this cigarette and having fun dressed as Miss Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's for my Halloween / Birthday Party... all this, whilst mulling over these morbid thoughts...


It's getting harder and harder to plan life after you reach a certain age. You start to get comfortable in your own skin and you don't really want to change anymore and you start to not give a fuck about so many, many things. It's nice. Relaxed. Especially since I have kind of laid off a bit on my daily habit of poring over my face for the latest development in the wrinkles department.

If there is anything I have learned in my 42 years of life on this planet, it's that life is short. Time is the most precious thing you have. Use it wisely, and spend it only on things, and only with people WORTHY of it. Everything else is just noise and unnecessary clutter. It's best to give yourself and your precious time to the people and things that really matter.

Forty-two is not such a bad number after all. If you ask Siri what the meaning of life is, faithful to The Hitchhiker's Guide Book, it would say, "forty-two". And I can only agree.

P. S.

Fun Fact: Audrey Hepburn and I (also, Grace Kelly) were both born in the year of the Snake. My kind of company!